Work Smarter, Not Harder
Published: January 2004
James & Brookfield Publishers
Stress Hardiness or Stressed-Out: You Do Have a Choice:
Jamie Spears Montelongo, Co-author
January 2004
I can recall a specific conversation with my husband that we had about three years ago. At the time we had two children at home, we each had our own businesses, we were individually involved in several hours of volunteer activity each week, and along with my father, I shared the caregiving responsibilities for my mother who has Alzheimer’s Disease. Life was very full indeed. The conclusion of our conversation was this: Since working harder and longer was not an option, it was time to work smarter.
The stresses in my life are not unique. In fact they are similar to so many other people’s, possibly yours as well. That was an important turning point in my life, when I made the choice to work smarter, not harder. My life is still very full with many demands. I still have my own business, which I am currently expanding. I have one son still living at home and the other in college 2,000 miles away. I am still blessed to have both my parents with me. And I believe that there are great rewards in contributing as much time as possible in worthy volunteer activities. Storm-like stressors may come your way, but the good news is that you can make the choice to become Stress Hardy. You do not have to let stress rob you of your productivity, creativity or joy. You can have the rewards that come from working smarter, not harder.
Making the choice to become Stress Hardy
The term “stress” is a relatively new word. I have read that the word was first coined and studied in 1936 by researcher Hans Selye. I am sure that stress was felt before that, probably since the beginning of time. I have read so many articles and books that say that one of the keys to becoming “stress hardy” is to think in an optimistic way. So let’s give it a try.
What is the upside to stress? Well, one thing might be that when we are under stress we get a surge of adrenaline and other hormones that can give us a tremendous burst of energy. That really comes in handy when we are running for that bus, trying to hit a homerun, or grabbing for the last cashmere sweater at that end-of-season sale at our favorite department store.
But like a favorite cousin who comes for that weekend visit and who brings eight large suitcases, stress really becomes a problem when it stays longer than necessary. Sure, when we need to surge into our passing gear, stress causes a physical reaction that gives us a boost and supercharges us to take action. That is often referred to as the “fight or flight” response.
One time my family and I were flying to New York from Houston. We weren’t stressed about our trip because we were looking forward to my brother-in-law’s wedding. Not only was he marrying someone who would become one of my dearest friends, but it was an out of state wedding. That means that we didn’t have to do anything but pack a nice change of clothes and show up. We were packed and ready to go, and even ahead of schedule! (Not the usual situation for me, but when it happens I feel pretty good about it.) Since we were early for our flight, why not stop at a diner for a bite to eat? It seemed logical at the time, so that is what we did.
While we were sipping our tea in a back booth, we heard a loud voice at the front of the diner. I stood up just to get a peek of what was going on, and to my surprise I saw a man with a large gun, his shirt wrapped around his head with only is eyes visible, standing at the register yelling for all the money. He then nervously and in a threatening voice said to someone to his left, “Hey you, hang up that phone!” and he then proceeded to shoot his big gun.
Speaking of shooting, that is exactly what my level of stress did…my stress shot through the roof! Immediately I pulled my three-year-old son down on the seat of the booth and covered him by laying over him. I asked him to be very quiet. My brother-in-law did the same with his two-year-old. My husband became quiet and super-alert, ready to take action if necessary. When the robber ran with his bag of money, my husband sprang into action. He made sure that the employees and customers were all right. He was the one that gave the directive to the stunned restaurant employees to call the police and lock the front door for safety’s sake. The immediate stress we felt helped us to evaluate the situation and take safety measures. No one was hurt in this incident, but for a long time I could remember it and feel my stress level climb. So long after the event occurred, I could still feel real stress when calling it to mind, or recounting the incident.
In spite of all this, we made it to the airport in plenty of time. But what I noticed was that my attitude had changed. I looked at people with suspicion. On previous visits to New York I had been impressed with the fact that New Yorkers were much friendlier than I had heard. Yes, on the previous trips I concluded that New York was a great place, with friendly people who walked fast and talked a little funny, but all in all were swell.
This trip for the wedding was different. What I felt walking down a New York street was threatened and a little fearful. I kept an extremely close eye on my son, even closer than usual. So what made this trip to New York very different than my visits before? Did I meet pleasant, helpful New Yorkers? Yes, I did. But my perception and focus had changed. Because of the recent diner robbery, I was concentrating on what might go wrong and what might present a danger to my family.
Like almost everything, there are upsides, and downsides to stress. (Stressed spelled backwards is Desserts!) The trick is to get stress to work for us, not against us. The real danger to our health comes when we allow ourselves to become chronically stressed. The major diseases common to our culture such as heart disease, high blood pressure and cancer, are all stress-related illnesses.
What we need to remember is that stress is caused, not so much by situations, but by our own perceptions. Take for example my visits to New York City. Both times I met some really wonderful people. Both times I met some not-so-polite people. I had both positive and negative experiences each time I visited. What changed was my attitude and perception. If what we think can cause more stress, then the opposite is also true! The good news is that we can change and improve our perceptions, thoughts and beliefs. Think about it…the really great news is that we can control our levels of stress!
Any workman needs the right tools to get a job done. If you were going to hang a picture on the wall you would need specific tools. There are some simple and very effective tools that we should add to our inventory so that we effectively accomplish the rewarding job of becoming “stress-hardy”.
Tool # 1: Positive Self-Talk
Whether you are Chatty Cathy or the Strong Silent type, the odds are that the person with whom you do the most talking and communicating with is yourself. How do you address yourself? Are you polite, kind and forgiving? Or are you harsh, overly critical and demanding? Has anyone ever asked you, “What are you smiling about?” Whether you choose to share that bit of self-talk or not, we all know that what we say to ourselves can cause our lips to turn up and our eyes to sparkle, or can bring our emotions and mood crashing down.
Emotions manipulate our immune system by the chemicals and hormones we produce. If you often think negatively, then the hormones cortisol and adrenaline (just to name a couple) may suppress the healthy function of the immune system. Deeply rooted negative emotions can affect our health and well being. Some people get into a habit of constantly looking at the downside. This has been called “awfulizing”. Sometimes we play the “What if” movie in our heads, and often we focus on the many things that might go wrong. Remember it is our movie! We get to write the script. If you paid to see a movie that you thought was awful, would you get up, walk out and then ask for your money back? I hope you would. That is what I am asking you to do with your own mental movie. If you don’t like the story line, then by all means get up, walk out and change theatres.
At times we act and react in a way that is governed by long term perceptions and beliefs that have outlived their usefulness. One time I had some friends over for dinner, including a man named Cy. I didn’t know it when I planned the menu, but he absolutely hates squash of any kind, prepared in any way. I had cooked spaghetti squash in rather unique recipe, which he ate and asked for seconds, and then ate that and proceeded to compliment the great meal. After learning he had eaten squash, Cy turned a shade of ghastly green and proceeded to become quite sick to his stomach. What made my dear friend so sick (as well as cautious about eating my cooking)?
I suspect that if he had not learned that he had eaten two generous helpings of squash, he would have been fine. He really believed that he hated squash, probably since he was a small child. He was truly, physically sick once he realized what he had ingested. Was it my cooking? I don’t believe that for a moment! (Plus, no one else got sick.) Was it the taste? No, when someone takes a generous second helping they aren’t faking, but really like the taste of the food. So what made him turn and run for the hall bathroom? It was his belief that he hated squash and that eating it made him sick. Our perceptions, our beliefs are really very powerful. Why not choose beliefs that give us the option of being stress hardy and happy? We need to sniff out the beliefs that may be deeply rooted, long standing perceptions that still effect our actions, but have long ago outlived their usefulness.
Here are the helpful steps to vanquish negative, archaic thoughts and replace with positive:
- Identify negative perceptions
What are you saying to yourself? It is for certain that people who are often depressed have a lot of negative self-talk. Really listen to your self-talk. It may help to keep a journal of what it is that you are saying. When you are feeling stress build and/or you start feeling depressed, take notes. Once identified…
- Replace the negative with positive self-talk
Don’t argue with yourself. Just delete the negative, and replace with a realistic and positive thought. Rather than beating yourself up about what went wrong, learn from the experience. Analyze what occurred, and immediately make plans to put this new knowledge to work to improve the situation.
For example, I have to admit that when my friend became ill after eating a meal I prepared, I had to fight the urge to take it personally. My first impression was to be embarrassed that after eating my food, one of my guests turned green and became ill. My first impression was to feel bad and say to myself, “Self, regardless of how nutritious and low in fat, you should not have made squash!” At that point I could have concluded that I would never buy or prepare squash again. But that was the moment to analyze. When I did, I realized that all my guests liked the meal. No one else got sick. Even Cy was bragging before he started gagging.
We often tend to take situations personally when really there is a bigger picture we need to see. The issue was not about my cooking, but about Cy’s belief. He too had a choice. After eating a meal that he found to be very pleasing, then learning that he had eaten squash he too had some options. One was to react just as he did. (That reaction does seem a little inappropriate at a dinner party, if you ask me.) Or he could have reasoned that his meal (1) tasted good, (2) was squash and (3) that he must have been unfair in his long-standing vegetable evaluations. Maybe he could give squash another chance! Who knows he might have found out that zucchini squash, summer squash, acorn squash as well as spaghetti squash was something pleasant and desirable! (As well as nutritious and low in fat.) We really do have options here!
We can’t always control what happens, but we can control our perceptions and attitudes. Our attitude is more important in determining how we handle stress, and even if we feel stress at all than, than what is the cause of the perceived stress. Read that again. I really want you to remember this point.
Tool #2: Laughter
The more laughter and humor you have in your life, the less room you will have for stress. Physically some amazing things happen when we laugh. Hardy laughter has been called “internal jogging”. It really is exercise for our insides! Muscles tighten and then relax. Breathing becomes deeper, helping get oxygen into our bodies and helping us to feel better. Blood circulation increases and our digestive system improves. The body produces endorphins that help us feel and heal better.
Laughter and humor can go a long way in diffusing a stressful situation. Take for example our friend Tracy. Tracy is a fun-loving, big-laugh person who also happens to be weak in the department of “organization”. Because of this she has a reputation for running behind schedule most of the time. We have been known to invite our friends to join us for dinner, or a movie at 7:00 p.m., but Tracy gets her own special invitation for at least a half-hour earlier. While we make allowances for Tracy, because she is so much fun, her boss is not nearly as flexible. Not long ago, Tracy received a warning, then a reprimand for being 5 to 15 minutes late. Finally she got an ultimatum that if she was late to work just once more, she would be fired. Tracy made extra effort for a week to get to work on time, even arriving early on a couple of occasions. We were all very proud of her, but knew it was just a matter of time before another tardy occurred. We had a severe south Texas rainstorm one night, which caused a power failure and Tracy’s alarm clock failed her. She awoke late, and showed up at work a good 20 minutes behind schedule.
As she walked through the front door of her office, you could feel the tension as well as see it on the faces of her co-workers. They all knew what was coming. She was out of a job! Aware of her late arrival, her boss walked into the front office with a scowl on his face, completely ready to make good on his threat. Before he could say a word, Tracy spoke up. “Good morning Mr. Hamby. Is it true that the early bird gets the worm? I hear that there is job opening here and I just know that I can handle the work. Well, do I get the job?” Mr. Hamby’s scowl didn’t much change, but he did turn around, walk back to his office and close his door, without asking Tracy to collect her personal items and leave. Her quick wit and ability to find humor did wonders in diffusing a very stressful situation.
It may help to practice “Joy Jotting”. Why not take a couple of minutes at the end of you day to jot down some of the good things that have happened. Smile about them and go to sleep thinking of the blessings of your life. Remember even the situations that do not go as we hope are valuable opportunities for us to learn, grow, become more empathetic and do better the next time.
Tool #3: Love and companionship
There was a story recounted at a business seminar dealing with human relationships. The speaker told of a home for orphaned children. Inside this home was a long row where the babies were kept in their cribs. Some of these babies became ill and some of them died—except the baby in the last crib. This baby did better than expected. The doctor was perplexed. The care provided was consistent, since all were fed, bathed, and kept warm. Yet only the baby in the last crib thrived. As months passed and new babies were brought in, the story remained the same: Only the baby in the last crib did well. The doctor concealed himself to observe, so that he might find an explanation for the one child’s robust condition.
At midnight the cleaning woman came in and on hands and knees scrubbed the floor, from one end to the other. After finishing her scrubbing, she stood up, stretched, rubbed her back. Then she went to the last crib, picked up the baby, walked around the room with it, cuddling it, talking to it, rocking it in her arms. She put it back in its crib and left. The doctor watched night after night, and each night the same thing happened. It was always the baby in the last crib that got picked up, cuddled, talked to, and loved. And in all the new groups of babies brought in, it was always the baby in the last crib that thrived, while the others got sick and some died.
Psychology Today said that “during formative periods of brain growth, certain kinds of sensory deprivation—such as a lack of touching and rocking by the mother—result in incomplete or damaged development of the neuronal systems that control affection.”
Loving, caring human relationships are vital to our health. Thus the opposite, the lack of companionship can be detrimental. We are faced with many pressures in modern living, such as broken homes, single-parent families, emotionally neglected children, the preoccupation with material things, the collapse of morals, the loss of true values—all add to the instability and loneliness that damage our health, and increase our stress.
Many clinical studies support that there are medical consequences of loneliness. Humans have biological needs for love and human companionship, and the failure to meet these needs may be ultimately exacted within our own hearts and blood vessels. So what do you do if you find yourself feeling lonely? It is true that one may not have the love, support and companionship biologically necessary for happiness, health and stress-hardiness within the established relationships with our parents, our mates or our children, but it is up to us to go out and create the relationships we need.
Look to see what you can do within your own block, your own street, your own building. There are always children who can benefit from our concern. Always a lonely person hoping for a friendship ready to be cultivated, etc. A lonely older person whose family lives far away, who could use a friendly visit or help.
The point is that love (and companionship) is essential to humans. When we have it in abundance our stress is reduced. An example of this occurred in the town of Roseto, Pennsylvania. There was a very low death rate from coronary heart disease. The epidemiologists studying the inhabitants of Roseto expected to find a community of physically active, non-smoking, nutritionally conscious individuals. They got a big surprise! The people in Roseto had basically terrible health habits and were found to be high in the risk factors for heart disease. But they did have a major protective factor in their favor. It was found to be the social environment of the community. There was a large extended family atmosphere there. People tended to grow up there, and stay there to begin their own lives. There was a great deal of support and connection. Within the community, when a problem arose, people were available to help out, listen and show concern. The study also showed that when people moved out of Roseto, their rate of heart attack rose to the predicted level. Connection, love and social support proved to be more important than health habits in predicting heart disease.
As mentioned before, we need to sniff out the beliefs that may be deeply rooted, long standing perceptions that still effect our actions, but have long ago outlived their usefulness. So how can we overcome conditioning that causes us to close down in fear rather than be open to feelings of love, connection and trust? Again we need to (1) Identify our negative thoughts and (2) Replace with positive self-talk. One very effective way to counter stress is to cultivate an attitude of openness to love and forgiveness, both to ourselves and to others.
Tool #4: Before there was Prozac there was Massage
In a society of “instant everything” we all seem to be running at warp speed. Then the inevitable happens: Our bodies get sick in order to get us to slow us down. Our bodies are wonderful and will heal and serve us well if we make it our priority to take control and make sure that we have the time, space and environment we need to heal and counter the negative effects of stress. One of the oldest, safest and most valuable therapies is Touch Therapy, or therapeutic massage.
Every living creature has a craving and a biological need to be touched. Touch is as important as food and water. Massage therapy acts as the perfect antidote for stress, while fulfilling our need for touch. Massage sends a message to the body to slow down and relax. With this relaxation comes a harmony, a sense of wholeness and peace. It helps us listen to and understand the messages that our body is sending us. Once we hear our bodies messages, we can respond by making needed changes to get rid of that headache, slow down, create some alone time or just make it a point to breath deeply and get needed rest.
When we care enough for our bodies to spend the time and money to take care of them, it sends a message to our subconscious that we have value and significance. How can others treat us with respect, if we don’t respect ourselves? Get a massage. You deserve it! Besides, this is the only body you are going to get. You will do well to take care of it.
Ask people you know if they can recommend a good massage therapist. Visit several, and then choose one with whom you feel comfortable. Or contact The International Massage Association (IMA) or the American Massage Therapy Association (AMTA) for therapists working in your area.
Many companies are offering regular massage as an employee benefit. Seated-massage, onsite at the workplace is an effective and low-cost way of helping employees deal with job-related stress. Some of the benefits are listed below:
Massage does the following:
- 1. Reduces the physical and mental effects of stress, thus helps prevent burnout and stress-related illnesses
- 2. Relieves the adverse effects of sitting for long periods of time in the same position
- 3. Relieves physical problems associated with repetitive tasks, i.e. computer work, sorting , filing and assembly line tasks
- 4. Improves alertness and ability to focus
- 5. Helps relieve common problems such as tension headaches, and stiff and sore muscles
- 6. Improves immune system functioning for better general health and resistance to colds and other illnesses
- 7. Leaves one feeling revitalized and ready to return to work
Tool #5: Apply Ergonomic Principles to Work Smarter, not Harder
Navigating through your stress-filled life is a lot like flying a plane through a storm. Over a hundred instruments fill the panels on the flight deck of a large airplane. A skilled pilot will rely on the information conveyed from takeoff to landing, and will use this information to make wise decisions. Like the essential instrumentation on a plane, your body communicates vital information to you each moment of every day. From morning until night, or from take off until safe landing, you need to pay heed to the critical information conveyed. In other words, when your body speaks, please listen.
Because stress can cause greater susceptibility to physical injury, one way of working smarter is to become familiar with basic ergonomic principles that can easily be applied in daily life. A simple definition of ergonomics is the science of fitting the job to the worker. When there is a mismatch between the physical requirements of the job and the physical capacity of the worker, there is an increased risk for development of musculoskeletal disorders (MSD’s).
Ergonomic Principle #1: Neutral Posture
Whether maintaining a position or making a movement, the joints should be kept in neutral posture to the extent possible. Neutral posture is the position where the joints and ligaments are stretched to the least possible extent; therefore, are subject to less physical stress. Some examples of non-neutral postures would be working with bent wrists, bent neck and turned heard, raised arms, twisted and/or bent trunk.
Ergonomic Principle #2: Keep the Work Close to Your Body
With your work close, you are able to stay in neutral posture more of the time. In my massage therapy practice I have had clients with shoulder and neck pain which resulted from reaching for their phone frequently throughout their workday. By moving the phone closer they were able to spend more time working in neutral posture, decreasing the amount of stress on shoulder muscles and joints. The most notable result was less shoulder and neck pain. There are times when a simple change can lead to a remarkable outcome.
Ergonomic Principle #3: Alternate Positions and Movements
Maintaining rigid positions or postures, and repetitive movements are taxing, and over a period of time can lead to muscle and joint injuries. The negative results of static postures and repetitive movements can be avoided by alternating tasks and taking “micro breaks”. Vary the tasks that make up your day, while still accomplishing what you need to get done.
“Since stress is the nonspecific response of the body to any demand, everybody is always under some degree of stress.”—to quote Dr. Hans Selye once again. To say you have stress is like saying you have a temperature.
How you respond to stress depends on many factors. Regardless of its cause, though, stress can be managed. It is my sincere desire that the five fundamental tools presented in this chapter will be used by you to make the choice to be stress hardy instead of stressed-out. Refuse to allow stress to rob you of your joy and passion for living! In other words, Work Smarter – Not Harder!
End of chapter…Contact information follows
About Jamie Montelongo
Jamie Montelongo is a registered massage therapist and owner of Touchstone Massage Therapy. She specializes in therapeutic massage and trigger point therapy for pain and stress relief. Her areas of expertise include oncology massage, pregnancy massage, pain-relief therapy for people with fibromyalgia, and MSD’s such as carpal tunnel and TMJD. She is a member of the ABMP. Jamie is certified in prenatal and perinatal massage, and is a certified lactation educator from the University of California at Los Angeles. Jamie educates companies and organizations regarding stress relief and implementation of ergonomic principles in the workplace. She is a published author, and her latest book if “Work Smarter Not Harder”.
Contact Information:
Jamie Spears Montelongo
Touchstone Massage Therapy & Training
San Antonio, TX 78232
Phone: (210) 710-5512
Email: tchstn99@gmail.com
